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Old school stuck in the generation of swipe for "quick love" generation

Updated: May 6, 2020

किताबों मे छपते है चाहत के किस्से हकीकत की दुनीया में चाहत नहीं ज़माने के बाज़ार में तुम वो हो गए हो के जिस्की केसी को ज़रुरत नहीं है यह बेकार बेदाम की चीज़ हैं

Kishore Kumar said it when it was not even cool, he could have sensed the rise of

the pop culture of “Wham , bam ...& thank you ma’am” which is apparently

engulfing the love from the air . With the growing advent of civilization, more

showbiz, not so real yet perfect social gram aesthetics we are drifting away from

concepts of soulmates and blissful love.

At present (Feb, 2019) there are 7,500 online dating sites. Do not underestimate the

potential of dating sites and applications, one of the biggest markets which has

mastered the art of selling “hope” most effectively.

For a better stance of the bigger picture I have some statistics, which evaluates

Tinder’s boom,

  • 57 million Tinder users around the world

  • 4.1 million Tinder subscribers pay for a premium Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold

  • Tinder is used in 190 countries, and is available in 40 languages

  • Tinder was processing one billion swipes per day by late 2014, that has now risen to 1.6 billion

It is said that necessity is the mother of invention, does this figure indicate the

advent of a cultural revolution?

You might have assumed that these sites work for “Singles” looking out for dating

partners, but to your utter surprise (you may not be surprised) there exists a

concept of Tinder Couples too, where in married couples explore their sexual

fantasies with a third partner. Terms like “Unicorn Hunting” have surfaced, which

refers to a monogamous couple opening up their relationship to a single bisexual

woman they intend to have a sexual relationship with, wherein Unicorn is the

bisexual women.

Moving on to another facet of the same issue is the growing figures of extra

marital affairs, Bangalore was recently named as India’s “Infidelity capital” with

1.35 lakhs reported Extra marital affairs which was purportedly aided by a website

called “Gleeden”. A website made by a team of women for people to engage in

(extra marital affairs) “discreet dating” as it reads and it’s free for women.

According to reports, 43,200 women just from Bengaluru have signed up for the

website and for men, the number stands at 91,800. Figures might stun you but

these are only the numbers which are reported, imagine the number of incidents

which remain behind the curtains.

It is a whole lot of data to ponder over, we are not emotion driven humans or rather

love driven humans anymore. We are mere bodies hustling every day, coping up

with stress and hefty lifestyle where there is no space left for emotions to fit in,

however there is a dire need of libido gratification. It’s the era of “Hook up song”

(even Bollywood has approved), friends with benefits & sixty-nine.

It has become our new reality especially in metros, the question here arises is that

where has the love eloped and why?

There is no concrete answer to this, everybody has developed their own escape

routes. Some say they want to take it easy, explore their sexual preferences, stay

casual, some say they don’t have enough wit, patience and time to manage

attachments, some simply want variety. Consequently, we are losing our grip upon

our conventional morals. I am not suggesting that all of us are proactive hookers,

but majority. Also, I won’t comment on whether it is wrong or not, it’s a choice

after all.

I just wanted to draw your attention towards fading fundamentals of relationships,

lost faith in love, trust & sense of belonging. A large percentage of the relations that

exist are for namesake and hollow, over and above there is a constricted world of

meaningful long-term relationships that exists.

It is not only a cultural shift but also has its own pros and cons which we are

undermining. We have been indifferent to increasing figures of sexually

transmitted disorders & psychological impacts of hooking up which are loneliness,

mistrust, stress, sexual violence, pressure to perform, low self-esteem, depression ,

disturbed family’s etc. as quoted by American Psychological association.

Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist has also stated love and

belongingness as one of the fundamental human needs, looks like millennials are in

a dire need to study the hierarchy of needs (pun intended).

It’s just sorrowful that there won’t be enough Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu, Romeo-

Juliet because hasn’t love become just as fast paced in this tech savvy world;

where finding your Mr./Ms. Perfect is just a click away thanks to the technology.

What will the stories of love revolve around since there won’t really be one?

With my not so witty, penny worth knowledge I have attempted to plate the

reflection of society. There is a lot more to it than I could place, there is lot more

that you know and feel. I have expressed my views and now it’s your turn. I am

waiting eagerly to hear from you, write it down in the comments :p.

Thank you for editing this and adding more worth to it.

A Not So Fun Fact: When you search for the term "travelling girls" on google it gives out not the results of inspirational solo travelling female bloggers or anything else but escort companies which provide paid services of a female friend. Speaks volumes about what goes on in our minds as a nation. Wander Womaniya stands to change this perception, when girls travelling solo in India would not be looked down upon!

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Well put up!

Indeed! The not so loving hook up culture has also shaped the definition of love all different than what we during our young adolescence thought that was more likely a day dream which never wanted us to wake up any sooner! Hahah..

But yeah with growing pace at technological discoveries , teenage confidence has also increasing with great pace and today a mid 50 women are seen enjoying the "love" with equal amount of zeal and passion as that of teenage love seen long back 2,3 decades! So yeah, expectations fo matters in love!


Jun 06, 2019

Dil kabootarkhana hai har kisi ka aana jaana hai (Bollywood's original hookup song 😝)


Nilaksha Vyas
Nilaksha Vyas
Jun 06, 2019

Well said! Nowadays true love existence has decreased a lot and the idea of being in love has increased. Specially these dating apps promote psuedo idea of being in love and simply has made love more of physical than eternal. I loved your blog, infact I love all of them. You always throw light on the shady parts of the society. Keep it up 👍👌

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