Updated: May 6
किताबों मे छपते है चाहत के किस्से हकीकत की दुनीया में चाहत नहीं ज़माने के बाज़ार में तुम वो हो गए हो के जिस्की केसी को ज़रुरत नहीं है यह बेकार बेदाम की चीज़ हैं
Kishore Kumar said it when it was not even cool, he could have sensed the rise of
the pop culture of “Wham , bam ...& thank you ma’am” which is apparently
engulfing the love from the air . With the growing advent of civilization, more
showbiz, not so real yet perfect social gram aesthetics we are drifting away from
concepts of soulmates and blissful love.
At present (Feb, 2019) there are 7,500 online dating sites. Do not underestimate the
potential of dating sites and applications, one of the biggest markets which has
mastered the art of selling “hope” most effectively.
For a better stance of the bigger picture I have some statistics, which evaluates
57 million Tinder users around the world
4.1 million Tinder subscribers pay for a premium Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold
Tinder is used in 190 countries, and is available in 40 languages
Tinder was processing one billion swipes per day by late 2014, that has now risen to 1.6 billion
It is said that necessity is the mother of invention, does this figure indicate the
advent of a cultural revolution?
You might have assumed that these sites work for “Singles” looking out for dating
partners, but to your utter surprise (you may not be surprised) there exists a
concept of Tinder Couples too, where in married couples explore their sexual
fantasies with a third partner. Terms like “Unicorn Hunting” have surfaced, which
refers to a monogamous couple opening up their relationship to a single bisexual
woman they intend to have a sexual relationship with, wherein Unicorn is the
Moving on to another facet of the same issue is the growing figures of extra
marital affairs, Bangalore was recently named as India’s “Infidelity capital” with
1.35 lakhs reported Extra marital affairs which was purportedly aided by a website
called “Gleeden”. A website made by a team of women for people to engage in
(extra marital affairs) “discreet dating” as it reads and it’s free for women.
According to reports, 43,200 women just from Bengaluru have signed up for the
website and for men, the number stands at 91,800. Figures might stun you but
these are only the numbers which are reported, imagine the number of incidents
which remain behind the curtains.
It is a whole lot of data to ponder over, we are not emotion driven humans or rather
love driven humans anymore. We are mere bodies hustling every day, coping up
with stress and hefty lifestyle where there is no space left for emotions to fit in,
however there is a dire need of libido gratification. It’s the era of “Hook up song”
(even Bollywood has approved), friends with benefits & sixty-nine.
It has become our new reality especially in metros, the question here arises is that
where has the love eloped and why?
There is no concrete answer to this, everybody has developed their own escape
routes. Some say they want to take it easy, explore their sexual preferences, stay
casual, some say they don’t have enough wit, patience and time to manage
attachments, some simply want variety. Consequently, we are losing our grip upon
our conventional morals. I am not suggesting that all of us are proactive hookers,
but majority. Also, I won’t comment on whether it is wrong or not, it’s a choice
I just wanted to draw your attention towards fading fundamentals of relationships,
lost faith in love, trust & sense of belonging. A large percentage of the relations that
exist are for namesake and hollow, over and above there is a constricted world of
meaningful long-term relationships that exists.
It is not only a cultural shift but also has its own pros and cons which we are
undermining. We have been indifferent to increasing figures of sexually
transmitted disorders & psychological impacts of hooking up which are loneliness,
mistrust, stress, sexual violence, pressure to perform, low self-esteem, depression ,
disturbed family’s etc. as quoted by American Psychological association.
Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist has also stated love and
belongingness as one of the fundamental human needs, looks like millennials are in
a dire need to study the hierarchy of needs (pun intended).
It’s just sorrowful that there won’t be enough Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu, Romeo-
Juliet because hasn’t love become just as fast paced in this tech savvy world;
where finding your Mr./Ms. Perfect is just a click away thanks to the technology.
What will the stories of love revolve around since there won’t really be one?
With my not so witty, penny worth knowledge I have attempted to plate the
reflection of society. There is a lot more to it than I could place, there is lot more
that you know and feel. I have expressed my views and now it’s your turn. I am
waiting eagerly to hear from you, write it down in the comments :p.
Thank you firstname.lastname@example.org for editing this and adding more worth to it.
A Not So Fun Fact: When you search for the term "travelling girls" on google it gives out not the results of inspirational solo travelling female bloggers or anything else but escort companies which provide paid services of a female friend. Speaks volumes about what goes on in our minds as a nation. Wander Womaniya stands to change this perception, when girls travelling solo in India would not be looked down upon!